Plot Twist
by Halsteadpd
Summary: Angsty Linstead (mostly Jay) one-shot. EDIT: Will be updated with more parts
1. Chapter 1

_spaghetti-is-power posted this on Tumblr and I wanted to write it. Thanks for helping me find my muse._

 _plot twist:_

 _jay suddenly disappears, everyone's looking for him, but no luck. then, in the mid-season all of his stuff from the apartment disappears as well. hailey and everyone else is really worried about him, but later it seems like they totally dropped the storyline. but, at the end of the season, they just show the new york's skyline and then a scene of jay waking up, with erin cuddled into him, both being happy as ever (maybe also a kid here or there.)_

* * *

The dark bags under his eyes, his beard growing in, the fact that he went to the breakroom for coffee at least four times during one shift never went unnoticed. It was concerning. Everyone would be turning off their computers—packing up for the night—yet he would grab his jacket and head towards the breakroom. What he did in there? No one knew.

Until that one morning where he was ready to knock his friend flat on his ass.

For the last two weeks there were days when he showed up in the same clothes from the day before—hair disheveled; sometimes you could even smell the booze on his breath if you stood close enough. Upton had even called him out on his shirt being inside-out one morning. He blew her off—telling her they needed to focus on their task—and she never got another moment to check in on him again.

Always being the last to leave and the first to show up, no one knew if he even slept. No one even knew _where_ he slept. Erin's place was sold and rumours flying around let them know that Will was kicked out of his girlfriend's place. The guys had joked about it one night at Molly's but the pained look in his watery, green eyes put an abrupt stop to their teasing. Quickly slamming down enough money to pay for his tab, he rushed out of the bar, likely to the comfort of his four walled home that lacked the one thing that _was_ home.

The palm scanner didn't work for him the next morning. He did everything right—code, hand, pull. He even tried twice. The sound of his frustrated grunts made its way towards the front desk where the noise of uniformed officers running around didn't fade it away. With the quick press of a button, the gate flung open and his bloodshot eyes thanked the aging woman behind the desk. The forceful slam of the metal behind him wasn't missed by her trained eyes, along with his slumped posture and the way his hands shook as he combed his fingers through his hair.

Al showed up at his place that night: "I figured you'd be drinking. Man shouldn't be drinking alone." Not many words were spoken between them, just the sound of wine making its way down their throats. Al excused himself and made his way out the door an hour later, unbeknownst to him of the hard liquor Jay drowned himself in minutes after he had left.

The bullpen was empty, even Voight's office was vacant. His first destination was his locker, the one directly next to hers. He pulled the navy blue sports jacket off the hanger and stuffed it into his duffel bag, along with his dress shoes and a pair of dark Vans. Next came the plaid shirts and the jeans that were quickly tossed in along with a toiletry bag that contained a comb, his hair gel and some cologne. He snagged his lock off the locker and made his way back to the bullpen where he forcefully dumped out his belongings from his desk.

Closing the lid to the box, his hand reached towards his waistband and tugged off the piece of metal that gave him his identity for the better part of the last eight years. He used the back staircase—going unnoticed—and placed the box in the passenger seat of his Jeep, never looking back.

Voight was on his doorstep a few hours later, after he saw the sunlight shining against those five numbers—51163. There was no sound of strong, heavy footsteps making their way towards the door, nor was there any voices coming from a TV.

"Excuse me, sir? May I help you?" An older man with wispy grey hair and kind eyes spoke from behind Voight. He wore a plaid shirt and grey slacks, accompanied with a walking cane and he had a permanent slouch to his back.

"I'm just looking for Jay. He's late for work."

"Oh. I'm sorry sir. Mr. Halstead moved out."

"Hmm. Did he say where he was going?"

"No, he just said this wasn't the right place for him."

"When did he leave?"

"He left early this morning, the sun wasn't even up above the horizon. He looked like a sharp one, don't you worry about him. He'll figure it out." The older man bid farewell and continued down the long hallway slowly. All Voight could do was go in the opposite direction, back to his vehicle, and back to the district.

His phone was pinged, his credit cards and license plate flagged, yet they found nothing. Calls made to his phone went directly to voicemail and calls made to his brother just left him panicked. He wasn't checked into any hospitals or any rehab facilities—even the guys at his support group hadn't seen him in weeks.

Jay Halstead simply fell off the face of the Earth.

The sight of his badge still sitting atop Voight's desk didn't leave any room for hope. He wasn't— _didn't_ —want to come back, he made that clear. Hushed conversations and the occasional look into the office by those out in the bullpen forced the sergeant to make a difficult decision too quickly.

"He's gone."

* * *

It had almost been six months now but the view of the skyline outside his bedroom window was something he had yet to get used to. He could look down from the balcony at any time to witness a sea of yellow from all the cabs and he could smell the cigarette smoke filling the air as his fellow citizens went about their days.

He had insisted on curtains but she didn't see the point of them— _we're too high up for anyone to see anything._

Damn that federal paycheck.

He showed up at her place—likely waking up all her neighbours with his loud knocking—but the smile on her face was worth it. They found comfort in each other—from the feel of each other's skin to the taste of the salty tears making their way down each of their cheeks. The comfort was not something that they regretted. All the words spoken and all the sensitive touches were done out of love.

Love.

Pure, undying, adoring, blissful love.

Looking down at the faint swell of her belly as she slept, he knew that the little human that was half him and half her would never question whether he or she was loved. There would never be an ounce of doubt because that baby was a personified version of it.

 **X**

 **Please leave me a review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Yes I know I said this was a one shot, but there were a lot of people requesting for more. So I've planned to make this 3 parts long :) As always, enjoy. **Special thanks to** spaghetti-is-power **who had the original idea**

 **X**

 _He showed up at her place_ — _likely waking up all her neighbours with his loud knocking—but the smile on her face was worth it._ _They found comfort in each other_ — _from the feel of each other's skin to the taste of the salty tears making their way down each of their cheeks. The comfort was not something that they regretted. All the words spoken and all the sensitive touches were done out of love._

They fell asleep late—basking in each other's presence—fighting rest their bodies desperately craved. Erin's wake-up call came hours before his when her phone rang a little after four that morning, new evidence and intel connected two of their open cases together and they needed to act fast. After hanging up her phone, Erin turned her head to look behind her. Jay's eyes were slightly open, but she could see him losing the fight against the heaviness of his eyelids.

"I gotta go into work, I'll be back as soon as I can." Standing up from the bed, Erin bent down to pick up Jay's shirt to drown her small frame in before kissing his forehead gently. "Get some sleep." She felt his eyes following her around her room as she got ready for her day. After applying some makeup and fixing her hair, she went back to the closet and unlocked the safe to get her gun and FBI badge. "I'll call when I get a second," were the last words she spoke before walking out of the bedroom and towards the front door where he could hear the clicking of her heels against the dark hardwood.

Silence overtook the apartment and although he had a feeling of unease watching her leave for work without him, the smell that was distinctly her—vanilla and something else sweet—eased him back into a deep slumber.

He woke again after seven, having had the best night's sleep in what felt like forever.

He blamed her.

Climbing out of bed, he first went towards the front door to pick up the few suitcases he brought with him. After getting a change of clothes and his toiletry bag, he went into the ensuite for a shower. He had gone in there once last night—in between rounds—and was pleasantly surprised of the vastness of her bathroom. It was bigger than his first apartment. There was a private toilet and a jacuzzi tub along with double sinks in front of a gigantic mirror. A bathroom for a couple. There was his and hers closets and from what he could see, only one closet had clothes in it—Erin's clothes. But the shower was by far the best part of it all.

It was lined with shiny gunmetal grey tiles and there was multiple shower heads coming off in all directions. There was one attached to the ceiling and two on either side of the walls. There were also some water jets installed from the floor towards the ceiling on each side, ten by his count. It was as if the water wanted to attack from all angles—not wanting to miss an inch of your body.

 _Damn,_ that federal paycheck.

At first, he couldn't figure out how to turn the damn thing on. He stood outside of the shower, reaching in and slowly turning every knob slightly until he found the right one. When he was satisfied with water pressure and verified that water won't spray out suddenly from any of the other nozzles, he stripped down and stepped in, closing the glass door behind him. The water spraying against his skin felt therapeutic—as if he was getting a full body massage. After about thirty minutes, when the steam was thick and his fingers pruned, he finally turned off the water. His body felt relaxed, not only physically but emotionally.

But maybe it wasn't _just_ the shower.

* * *

In the daylight, New York City looked a lot different. He finally got to appreciate the street that Erin lived on and noticed that it was mostly retired couples. He saw a man with salt and pepper hair going for a run and saw another older woman with teenage kids getting into a black BMW X5.

As he walked along her block, he reached his destination of the coffee house he spotted last night. When he walked inside, the aroma of coffee assaulted his nose and he joined the line of four people. When he gave his order and pulled out his wallet to pay, he was surprised by the price for one cup. Maybe he should've just made some in Erin's apartment, he was unemployed after all.

But that was the best damn cup of coffee he had ever had.

* * *

After exploring for a while, he returned to her place. He let himself in and kicked off his boots, noticing that her heels or coat were not there. Digging through the fridge and pantry, he was surprised to notice all the healthy options and lack of takeout containers she had. Deciding on a simple stir-fry for lunch, he began to cut up his ingredients, mind deep in thought.

He found it funny how she had foods to _actually_ cook instead of simple things she could reheat or throw into the microwave. It was like this version of Erin was completely different from the Erin he knew before. The only time she ate home cooked meals was whenever he cooked it for her or if she went to Voight's house for dinner once every blue moon. It had been months since they spoke to each other—saw each other. He knew that meant she could be an entirely different person.

But no, last night proved that thought wrong. Last night proved that she missed him just as much and that she needed him. That she _wanted_ him.

His thoughts were interrupted by his cell phone ringing and when he pulled it out of his pocket, a smile grew on his face. He couldn't even remember the last time he saw her name light up his screen, but the feeling altogether took his breath away.

They spoke for a few minutes, she was letting him know that she would be home for dinner, and that maybe they could get some takeout and watch a Rangers game or something. Just like old times. He was grinning like an idiot the entire conversation. It all felt like nothing had changed. But as he hung up the phone and looked around the foreign apartment, he knew everything had already changed. And he was just gonna have to get used to it. Maybe he wouldn't get used to it now, but someday he would.

* * *

"You're growing out your beard." She stated as she plated dinner for the both of them.

"Yeah, I-uh, was just letting it grow in. Just change it up I guess."

"I like it. It suits you. I don't know why I never told you that."

They carried their respective plates over to the couch and sat down in front of the immaculate 70-inch TV screen. Jay had a look of childlike wonder on his face as his eyes darted over the players skating on the ice. Although his beloved Blackhawks weren't playing, it was a sight for sore eyes and it made Erin wish she did get him that 60-inch back in Chicago.

The only sounds that came from either of them was the scraping of utensils against their plates, somewhat muffled by the commentators on the screen. The silence was comfortable, yet deafening. There was no banter or comments of the refs making a dumb mistake. There were no sounds of Jay clearing his throat or of Erin groaning when she couldn't find a comfortable position on the couch. It was just silent.

So she spoke.

"So are you staying her permanently?" She kept her gaze on the screen but could see in her peripheral that he turned his head over to her.

"Um, I'm not sure yet. I'd hope so. I just kinda packed everything up and left."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"No, not really. I just left my badge on Voight's desk."

"You quit?!" Finally Erin turned her head and body to face him.

"Yeah. Everything was just a bit rough lately. Fresh start, you know."

"Yeah." The silence returned between them momentarily. Erin couldn't help but think what was burdening him for the last year—other than her moving hundreds of miles away. There were so many questions she had, but she knew even he didn't have answers for them. So she asked one where he would have an answer to—an honest one—because one thing Jay Halstead couldn't do was lie to her. "How are you doing?" It was as if that simple question sucked the air out of the room. His eyes stayed glued to the TV screen and his jaw clenched.

"Um it's been...rough…"

"You already said that. What made it so rough?"

And from what she assumed was an innocent question, the dam broke.

He spoke of going back to her apartment for what seemed like thousands of times, even six months after she had left. He spoke of the little girl that had her whole life ahead of her but his gun took that all away. He spoke of his undercover case where he watched another one of his brother-in-arms die from a bullet wound. He spoke about drowning himself in alcohol every night and once again finding comfort in sex—something he vowed never to do again. He spoke about how Voight showed up on his doorstep one night, looking for booze and pills and telling him he dug a hole that was maybe too deep.

And that was the final straw.

That was what sent him packing.

That was what helped him realize he still wanted her. No, that he _needed_ her.

He was just a man that was drowning in a tank of water—filling in from a hole at the bottom—and she was the one that controlled the flow at which it filled.

His cheeks were wet and his eyes were bloodshot when he finished speaking. All she could do was sit there in bewilderment. Before she could tell her body what to do, she was wrapping him up in her arms and she rubbed his back as he sobbed into her chest.

* * *

"Ready to go, babe?" Jay secured his gun on his right hip as he always did before feeling his back pocket for his badge. It wasn't proudly displayed along with his gun like it was back in Chicago, but the FBI badge folded up nicely to fit in his pocket. He looked down at his black dress shoes, inspecting them for any scuffs or dirt before walking over to the mirror on the wall to do a once over of himself. He hair was brushed neatly—as always—and he wore a grey suit with a white dress shirt. His black tie was tied professionally around his neck and his beard was trimmed to a short length. He turned around when he heard her heels clicking against the hardwood and smiled when she came into view, dressed in a pantsuit.

"Alright, let's go. You got everything?"

"Yeah, you got the keys?"

"Of course I do."

They both made their way downstairs towards the parking garage where their black Cadillac was parked. Erin made her way towards the driver's side while Jay settled into the passenger seat and secured his belt. Like every morning, they stopped at the coffee shop down the street before making their way towards downtown for work. Erin had managed to convince her boss to hire Jay as her partner for the FBI Counterterrorism Division. After one look at his resume, there was no hesitation and in the week following Jay's departure from Chicago, he was working for one of the most elite units in the world.

They each had their own offices—right next to each other and it was just like old times when they would vest up for any raids.

Those longing looks returned and the banter continued and within the next couple of months, they had made it official. They were together again. It was only a couple days later when Erin had her face in the toilet for the _third_ time that day that they realized she was pregnant.

She was scared and he was bouncing with joy. He helped her relieve her stress later that night under the sheets and he watched in almost a childlike wonder as she drifted off to sleep. His eyes darted down to her belly where there was no evidence of anything being there but he knew that soon her skin would begin to stretch to show evidence of their love.

Their first appointment with the midwife was over a month away and Jay hated having to see Erin suffer. She was always tired and nauseated and he wished that he could somehow relieve her sickness. He called Will one night asking for any remedies but all he got was the general home care for the stomach flu.

Agent Spencer was alerted to Erin's _condition_ and she gladly let her stay in the office, stating that she wouldn't have to go out in the field until she was ready. Watching Jay and the team leave during the day often left her feeling panicked. She only trusted herself to keep watch of her partner's back, and she would only breathe a sigh of relief when she would see his smiling face popping into her office again.

A month later they were finally seeing the midwife. Jay held Erin's shaking hand in his, rubbing his thumb softly over her knuckles. When her name was called, they were escorted towards a room in the back and Erin was told to strip from waist up.

Soon the nurse came back to draw some blood and let them know that the tech would be in to do the ultrasound. Erin breathed deeply trying to calm her heart rate as she watched the radiologist squirt warm jelly on her abdomen before moving the wand around. The pictures were foreign to them and a look at the tech's stoic face didn't give anything away. They watched as she took measurements for a few minutes and sometimes Erin would have to bite down on her lip from the pain coming from the amount of pressure from the wand.

"Okay, it looks like you're at about 12 weeks. Congratulations." She clicked a few things on the keyboard and soon a quick, thudding sound filled the room. "And that's baby's heartbeat. Strong and normal." She printed a couple copies of the images she captured and answered any questions that Erin had.

Jay had been in a trance, not hearing a single word spoken by either woman. He just held the photo in his right hand and memorized every bit of it. There was a feeling inside of him that he couldn't quite explain, but it made him bubbly and it etched a smile on his face. He didn't even realize Erin was ready to get dressed again until she gently squeezed his hand and greeted his eyes with a smile.

"Ready to go home?"

"Home." He smiled. "Oh definitely." He stood up from the chair and folded the picture before putting it in his wallet, some place where he would always see it.

If you were to ask Jay Halstead a year ago if this is where he saw his life at this moment, he would have smiled and his eyes would have darted over to his partner.

"One can only hope."

 **X**

Please leave me a review, and if you follow the pattern you can figure out what the next and final chapter will be about ;)


	3. Chapter 3

"Liam, stop wiggling so much." Jay chuckled as he tried to force shoes on the two-year-old's feet.

"Everything okay, babe?" Erin asked as she rounded the corner to see her boys at the front door.

 _Her boys._

She loved calling them that. There was no one or nothing better in the world than her boys.

" _Someone_ doesn't want to put on shoes this morning." Jay replied as the toddler looked up at his mom and giggled. "I guess we'll have to skip getting donuts this morning because this is taking too long."

"No, Daddy. No." Liam slid off the ottoman and stood near the front door. "I ready."

"Hm, never mind. Looks like we're ready to go." Jay winked at his son before grabbing the little boy's backpack and leading him out the door.

Life before Liam felt like it was a century ago; there wasn't a time either Jay or Erin could remember living without their son running around.

He was perfect.

He was an active little boy that was always so smiley and happy. He rarely ever cried but when he did, the tears would be gone soon after cuddling with one of his parents.

Throughout her pregnancy, Erin feared having to give birth. Her doctor had given her the option of a c-section, but one sleepless night while browsing the internet and reading all the risks of surgery, she decided she would be better off giving birth naturally.

Luckily for her, the birth went as smooth as possible and after a few hours of being in labour, her baby boy had been born. When she looked over at Jay, his face displayed the epitome of happiness. Tears were freely falling from his eyes as he gently rubbed his son's back and admired his face.

The doctor interrupted their moment when she asked if Jay wanted to cut the umbilical cord, something he didn't hesitate to agree to.

"It's not going to hurt them, right?" He asked before bringing the scissors any closer to the two people he loved. "They won't feel it?"

"Nope, they'll be okay." The doctor reassured.

When the nurses took the baby to get cleaned up, Jay followed. He didn't want his son out of his sight. He watched as they cleaned him off with towels and placed a small blue hat on his head before swaddling him into a blanket. They did some tests and weighed him before handing him over to Jay.

And that was the first time Jay got to hold him.

He got to feel the connection every parent did with their newborn as they each stared intently into each other's eyes. It was in that moment that Jay had a strong urge to protect this little being from everything in the world—he was going to do _anything_ for this child.

 _His_ child.

One thing Jay never envisioned was holding his baby boy a year after moving from Chicago. If he was being honest, packing up his stuff and showing up on his ex-girlfriend's doorstep was the most ballsy thing he had ever done. There was no promise of her accepting him, let alone wanting to even talk to him.

He got really lucky.

"Did you two pick out a name yet?" One of the nurses asked as Jay took their son over to Erin and placed him into her waiting arms. They both smiled at each other and looked down at their baby before replying.

"William Justin Halstead."

* * *

Three days later they were making their way back to the apartment—their first time as a family of three. Jay had gone all out on baby proofing everything. Erin had wanted to tell him that he could do it when the baby got older and more mobile but she stopped when she saw the excitement of having a baby radiating off of him. His eyes sparkled in the light and his goofy grin seemed to be plastered on his face ever since he first laid eyes on his baby boy. She just didn't have the heart to dim that light in his life.

Even though sleep was a rare luxury, Jay and Erin had never lived in such a perfect time.

Weekends spent out in the city grabbing dinner or drinks soon turned into dinners at home when they would host guests from Chicago—everyone wanted to see their newest little nephew. They brought trunk fulls of gifts and toys, wanting to spoil Liam as much as they could. But mostly, everyone wanted to spend time with two of their closest friends who they barely got to see anymore. It seemed every weekend members of the Intelligence unit were in New York city, which was completely fine for Jay and Erin.

They were just really lucky to have such a tight knit family unit.

And a few months later, Jay was doing something that made his hands shake. He paced the sidewalk for a few minutes before grabbing the silver-coloured door handle. There was no going back after the man in the jewelry shop spotted him—he was sure he wouldn't turn around anyways.

For the longest time he thought that Erin would wear his mother's ring, one she promised to the first of her sons to find the right girl. Will had insisted that Jay take the ring since he had wanted to give Erin the ring all those nights ago, but there was too many negative memories associated with that ring and those times that Jay wanted to start new.

But there were so many.

There was gold ones and silver ones. Diamond ones with round cut or a princess cut—some of them even had colour added with emeralds or rubies.

It was all too overwhelming.

 _Maybe it was a sign._

 _Maybe he shouldn't go through with it._

Jay ran his fingers through his hair as he turned away from the glass counter. He needed to do more research. He needed the perfect ring. He smiled sympathetically at the man in the suit behind the counter as he turned towards the door.

But it must've been fate.

Something in the shop glinted in his eye as he opened the door—his detective instincts were drawn to it. When he looked over to his right, he noticed a gold ring with a square diamond in the centre with two smaller diamonds next to it, sitting eloquently on top of a purple bedazzled pillow.

Quickly, he made his way towards the showcase and looked down at the ring—the _perfect_ ring. It was almost an identical match to the one that shined in the sunlight on Saturday mornings when he would be cuddled up next to his mom watching cartoons. He vividly remembers the rainbows that would encapsulate his living room, distracting him from the colourful images on the Gaoo.

And after all this time, he realized something. He realized that his mother had been through it all with him. And now, she was basically giving her blessing—she was screaming at him to marry that girl.

And that's what he was going to do. He handed his credit card over while he marvelled at the ring, only being broken out of his stupor when the man in the suit offered to put in into a box.

He knew she deserved something extravagant, something with white Chrysanthemums, some rosé and an expensive dinner. But he was impatient, and he knew that he was being selfish.

When he walked through the apartment door later that night, he was greeted by his energetic little boy who basically demanded hugs and kisses from one of his favourite people in the world. As cliche as it was, the ring was burning a hole in his pocket and it didn't help that Liam's foot was pushing against it as they hugged each other tightly.

She came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a dish towel to see what the commotion was all about and smiled when she saw her boys giving each other an Eskimo kiss. She lived for the moments between her boys—Liam looked up to Jay as if he had hung the moon.

After putting his little boy down, Jay smiled as he wrapped an arm around his girlfriend's waist. She wasn't wearing any makeup, her hair was messily thrown into a bun and she had been wearing the same t-shirt— _his_ t-shirt—for the last few days because they didn't get time to do a load of laundry but she looked absolutely stunning to him.

Taking a deep breath, Jay reached into his pocket and pulled out the cherry red, velvet box and opened it to display the perfect ring. Slowly, he got down onto one knee and looked up into Erin's tear-filled eyes. He spoke with a softness in his voice he only reserved for those he loved most and he looked at Erin with utter adoration etched on his face.

"Marry me?"

* * *

 **I know this took me forever to finish up but I cannot express enough gratitude to all of you that read and reviewed. Thank you so much for sticking through this story with me :)**


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